tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35239151017374487462024-02-07T02:58:13.092-05:00Life as a Literary Agent"Between the idea and the reality..." ~ T.S. EliotJordyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16573154547132863157noreply@blogger.comBlogger30125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3523915101737448746.post-19095763726100518912015-02-26T15:41:00.001-05:002015-02-26T15:41:23.474-05:00First Page Critique #5<div class="" style="font-family: HelveticaNeue, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 32px;">
<span class="">Hello, everyone! </span></div>
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Here is another first page critique. I really hope you guys are finding these critiques helpful!</div>
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Best,</div>
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J</div>
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<span class="">First Page: </span></div>
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<span class="">There are three types of people in this world: the oppressors, those running from the oppressors, and those unaffected by the oppressors. Guess which group counts me as a member? <span style="color: red;">[This paragraph feel a little unfinished to me...I think it might help if there was a sentence to help the transition between this one and the next, so that it connects with the rest.]</span><o:p class=""></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="">The final bell rang. I’d have to make it home on my own today; his appointment <span style="color: red;">[Whose?] </span>was at 1:45, and I doubted he’d be back yet. I decided to try a new tactic. Instead of dashing out the front door at 2:19, like I did every other day, I lingered at my locker. <span style="color: red;">[I like the voice/language here.]</span><span class=""> </span>My heart pounded in my chest. Could I do it? Could I really slip past them? <span style="color: red;">[I'm a little unclear here...the narrator (she/he? seems female) first says "his appointment," and here she/he is saying them.]</span><o:p class=""></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="">Right now, they’d be on the front steps of the school, waiting for me, searching for my face in the throng of students clogging up the entrance. Maybe they would find one of their other targets and forget about me for today. Maybe if I delayed long enough, either they would leave or he would arrive. <span style="color: red;">[Is the narrator a target of bullying? How so? He? The one who had the appointment?]</span><o:p class=""></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="">I rearranged my notebooks and swept the junk at the bottom of the locker – gum wrappers and rubber bands and paper clips – onto the floor with my hand. <span style="color: red;">[I think this is a nice job of showing something about the characters environment.] </span>I took my phone out of my pocket and checked the time. By now, all but a few stragglers will have exited the building. I sifted through the coats and sweatshirts stuffed onto the hooks and found my old green windbreaker. Ha! So that’s where it had gone. I pulled it on and tried to stretch the sleeves down. No doing; three inches of boney wrist stuck out at the bottom of each sleeve. Whatever. I pushed the sleeves up to the elbows and headed down the hallway to the back door.<o:p class=""></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="">Most of the other students – the ones without after-school activities - had already left the school. It felt strange to be in the building; I was not an after-school activity person. A janitor walked by, rounding up little bits of trash and dust with his enormous broom. He kept his head straight, but his eyes slid over and gave me a quick glance; he knew I didn’t belong here. <span style="color: red;">[Not a bad start. I think there are some things that need flushed out, such as why is the narrator is reluctant to leave this time? There are a number of things that readers could infer, so you'd want to clarify.]</span></span></div>
Jordyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16573154547132863157noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3523915101737448746.post-27302752295176920152015-01-31T08:16:00.000-05:002015-01-31T08:20:49.600-05:00First Page Critique #4<div>
Hey everyone! Hope you all had a great holiday season. I know I am very late on a critique, and I'll do my best to post more often. Happy weekend!<br />
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First Page:</div>
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The shower gurgled behind me, draining away cold water and sweat. Beads of moisture on my legs turned warm as I stepped from the tub and relinquished myself to the heat. It was early June, but the cicadas were already blaring beneath the angry sun. It was the beginning of a remarkably hot summer.<br />
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I stood, damp in the doorway between my bathroom and bedroom, staring at the bed. Seven AM and my yellow lab, Scout, lay where my husband should have been. I tried to remember the last time I had seen him. Some nights he came home and stumbled into bed. Other times I woke up and found him face down on the couch. But on the nights that our ships never passed, I didn't know where he was sleeping. Buried under the weight of my own stubbornness, I tried not to think where he could have been.<br />
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Sweat was already beginning to form on my forehead. I took my towel and blotted it away, grumbling to myself as my air conditioner perched pointlessly in my window. My only relief from the heat had bit the bullet. So I stood naked before my closet, avoiding dressing and sealing in the heat, when I heard a knock at the door. <br />
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Wrapping myself in a towel, I thought irritably of my grandmother. I was sure she was standing on my front porch, bursting at the seams with coffee and gossip. She showed up some mornings to ride to work together, despite the fact that she claimed to have retired.<br />
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“Grandma, it’s open!” I shouted from the loft. Scout thumped her tail at the prospect of a visitor. When I didn’t hear the front door squeak, I looked at her and said, “I guess she’s going deaf.” She paced back and forth with her ears perked up in excitement. I closed her in the bedroom. She had a history of jumping, and I wanted to prevent a broken hip at all costs.<br />
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Tucking my towel tight around me, I headed down the stairs. My damp feet slapped against the wood floor as the knocking sounded again.<br />
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“I’m coming!” I shouted and reached for the door knob.<br />
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It’s funny that in those unsuspecting moments when we find our most sensitive selves exposed, we react in our truest nature. In my mousy haired, green eyed way, I was so taken aback by the person standing in my doorway that I must have looked like a forest animal, snuck into the nearest shelter, still soaked from last night’s rain. And I stopped, as if a passing car caught me in their head lights, shocked, yet unable to move.<br />
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A pair of eyes, balanced between gray and blue found me, naked beside my dryer worn towel. My skin tingled in the awareness of its exposure. His dark, disheveled hair threw a shadow over those eyes as they found mine. Work boots and dirty denim, covering long legs that led up to a broad torso, wrapped in a carelessly wrinkled white t-shirt. Tall. Tall enough to intimidate or comfort. He was a sleepy image, as if he’d just rolled out of bed. In my forest animal way, I blinked but didn’t move. This was not my seventy-eight year old grandmother.<br />
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“Oh!” I exclaimed, and pulled my towel tight over my chest. Though he quickly averted his eyes, I couldn't help but catch a hint of the devil in his smile.<br />
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“I’m sorry ma’am,” his low voice resonated. “I’m Tristan, farmer Carpenter’s grandson. I’m here to pick up the rent.” His eyes turned to me briefly before stealing back towards the ground.<br />
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Hiding my body behind the door, I said, “Oh, yeah. Of course. Um, just- just let me grab my check book. And clothes.”<br />
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A smirk flirted across his lips.<br />
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<span style="color: red;">Critique:</span></div>
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<span style="color: red;">Not a bad start. I kinda felt a little lost at times, for example, I thought the couple sentences about her husband were a little jarring because we really don't learn anything else. (I know it's only a page.) I also wasn't sure what type of relationship she has with her husband, but it sort of seems a little strained--we learn that he's slept on the couch. So you might consider showing the reader a little more about her marriage. </span></div>
Jordyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16573154547132863157noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3523915101737448746.post-8991149529341129402014-11-14T12:03:00.002-05:002015-01-31T08:15:37.005-05:00First Page Critique #3Hey everyone! Here with another critique :)<br />
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Happy Friday!!!<br />
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<b>First Page: </b><br />
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London<br />
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I’m guessing you’re still up. Can you call me?<br />
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After sending the text, Kat Williamson set her cell down and combed the tangles from her wet hair. When the phone rang, she answered on the first ring and shut the bathroom door in case her boyfriend, C.J. entered the adjacent bedroom.<br />
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“Are you okay, sweetie?” her stepmother Jilly asked.<br />
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“Yes, of course I’m okay,” Kat said quickly. “I’m about to go to the first major social event of my life, and tomorrow, I’m going to attend a real royal wedding with a prince no less. How could I not be okay, right?” She sank down onto the closed toilet seat and groaned. “I am so not okay.” <br />
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She closed her eyes and took a couple of long, slow breaths while ordering her spazzy inner teenager to go away. “What if I do something stupid tonight? What if I trip going into the Abbey in front of the television cameras tomorrow? Half the world will be watching.” <br />
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“You’ll be fine,” Jilly said softy. “It’s just a case of nerves. It’s to be expected. This is your first real public appearance with C.J.”<br />
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“What if it’s my last?” Kat whispered, voicing the real worry that had been plaguing her for weeks now. “What if he’s only doing this to give me something to remember him by? He’s done with grad school in less than a month. He’s going home to Höhenburg. The fact that I haven’t been there yet since I came to Europe is pretty telling, don’t you think?”<br />
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“Well…”<br />
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“See?” Kat said, trying not to cry. “You know I’m right. Maybe I should break up with him first.”<br />
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“No!”</div>
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<b style="color: red;">Critique:</b></div>
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<span style="color: red;">Overall, I think the writing is pretty solid. However, I didn't feel there was much of an into., so I felt like I was kind of thrust right into the story. I would maybe suggest just a little more of a set up for the scene to help readers get grounded in the story/page(s)--maybe a little interaction between Kat and her stepmother?). Also, I was wondering why she thought C.J. might show up...it seems that it's kind of late because she says she guesses he's still up. And her stepmother seems like she's just appeared, which was a bit jarring. Not a bad start, though :) </span></div>
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Jordyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16573154547132863157noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3523915101737448746.post-32054151563437158702014-11-07T12:51:00.000-05:002014-11-07T12:52:05.677-05:00First Page Critique #2<div>
Hey everyone! I hope you guys are finding these critiques helpful. Please feel free to comment. Here is critique #2. </div>
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<b>First Page:</b></div>
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Nobody could outrun Rosa Walker. She raced along the eight-kilometer loop that encircled Wirthlin Base, passing enlistees and fellow officers as if they were standing still. Many increased their pace when her blond ponytail streaked past, but each would fall back after a hundred meters or so, shaking their heads.<br />
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Seventy-nine meters from the broken tree to the water tower, Rosa calculated. Elapsed time, nine-point-one seconds. Average speed: thirty-one-point-two-five kilometers per hour. Twelve minutes to dawn.<br />
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The numbers were a constant stream, a flood that ceased only when she slept. Most of it she pushed aside like background noise, focusing only on the bits she needed. Right now she was more concerned with putting one foot in front of the other, with the slow burn in lungs and leg muscles as she pushed her body to the limit.<br />
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Above her, a glittering arc of asteroids crossed the sky--the white and orange rings of Pegasus Four. They writhed as a trio of tiny moons spun through at eccentric angles, shepherding them into complex, serpentine waves. The rings grew fainter with every passing moment, paling until they might have been one long cloud stretched across the sky. <br />
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Soon the slow burn became a fire that would not be denied, and Rosa reduced her speed. A breeze filtered through the trees to either side of this part of the loop, stirring the azure foliage and cooling her face. Wind speed eight kilometers per hour, north by sixteen degrees west. Dawn’s light cast a reddish hue across the sky, promising rain before nightfall. <br />
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Ahead ran the neat double file of Wirthlin’s Tactical Armor squad--a dozen men and two women, all with hair cropped to a centimeter or shorter. Each bore the winged egg of the Nidus Defense Forces across their white T-shirts and athletic shorts. A pair of officers led the file.<br />
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Rosa wet her lips with anticipation. This was her favorite part of the morning run--the final 500-meters. About a year ago the TAG squad started running it with her whenever they happened to share the road. No one ever beat Rosa to the training yard, but they made her push herself hard.<br />
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The younger of the two officers spotted Rosa coming up from behind and caught the attention of Captain Reynolds, a steel-eyed man with a touch of grey in his brown hair. Reynolds checked the traffic on the road and nodded his approval. Eager grins rippled backward through the squad.<br />
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Just before they reached their marker, a lamppost on the right, a familiar sensation washed over Rosa. It was an invisible wave, a subtle vibration that reminded her of sunlight filtering through a canopy of leaves. She didn’t know what caused it, or why nobody else ever seemed to notice. It was just something she took for granted, like the numbers that inundated her day and night.<br />
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The squad spread out across the road beside Rosa and the other officers. Ten meters to the lamppost. Five. The Tactical Armor squad took off like lightning, but Rosa stumbled. A second vibration had joined the first, new and unfamiliar. It had its own rhythm, more rapid and erratic than the first. Like a bonfire flickering on a hilltop.<br />
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The others had almost a forty-meter lead by the time Rosa shook off her surprise. The new vibration was distracting, an anomaly that demanded explanation. She couldn’t focus, and it cost her precious seconds.<br />
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Rosa reached the exercise yard in fifth place. She tried not to let her embarrassment show as she walked a cool-down lap around the yard, but it was difficult. She hadn’t run that stretch so slow since before her last promotion.<br />
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<span style="color: red;"><b>Critique: </b></span></div>
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<span style="color: red;">I think you have some good descriptions here. For instance, I really like the imagery in the paragraph about the asteroids. However, I didn't really feel I got a good sense of the setting/characters. Are we on Earth? For me, there seemed to be an abrupt transition between this paragraph and the other paragraphs. I know it's only the first page, but I think this paragraph is the only one that hints at the story being science fiction. Also, I felt there might have been a little bit too much emphasis on numbers (why are the numbers so important to her and how is she able to calculate certain things?), and I would have loved to see some interaction between the characters. </span></div>
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Jordyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16573154547132863157noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3523915101737448746.post-22822170684347885132014-10-28T16:13:00.001-04:002014-10-28T16:16:25.314-04:00First Page Critique #1Hey, everyone! Here is my first post for the first page critiques. Thanks so much to everyone who has already sent me one. I know it's only the first page, but I hope you guys will find this helpful :)<br />
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First Page:<br />
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My parents got married two weeks after they graduated from high school. One year later they had my sister Sherry. Two years after Sherry, Valerie was born. Three years after Valerie, I was born.<br />
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My mother had children relatively easily; so, following the classical human pattern, they decided to go after one more child, hoping, of course, it would be a boy. Disaster! My mother did get pregnant, and the child was a boy; but my mother got an abortion because the baby was literally killing her.<br />
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I am told my parents reacted very differently to this tragedy, and their reactions would affect my life far more than my sisters’. You would think my mother would have become depressed by this loss. She didn’t. After a period of mourning, she snapped right back. She regained her health and continued her life.<br />
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My mother’s sound mind and behavior was a good thing for my sisters and me, because my dad fell into the deep end of the psychic pool. He was like King David mourning the death of Absalom. He was inconsolable. Family and friends could not comfort him. Even doctors were of little help.<br />
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I am one of the people who helped him come out of his depression. It’s true, but it’s not like cute, little me came up to my depressed father and said, “Daddy, I love you. Won’t you smile for me again? There’s a beautiful rainbow outside the door.”<br />
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No, it didn’t happen that way. You see, my dad is a gung-ho golfer. He even watches it on TV for fun, and he dreamed of playing golf with his son. That dream was lost, but at some point my father must have said to himself, “Well, I do have three living children, and one of them does show some interest in golf. If I can’t play golf with my son, I’ll play golf with my daughter.”<br />
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So Daddy took me at an early age and turned me into a golfing fanatic, and as a little girl I swallowed it hook, line, and sinker. I loved the attention my dad gave me, and I loved it that my older sisters would not get near a golf club.<br />
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Daddy was an excellent teacher. He taught me the classic Byron Nelson/Ben Hogan golf swing. He always bought me the best equipment, all fitted for my size. Plus, he indulged me with golf outfits galore. (I later rejected dressing like a girl on the golf course—too much work.) When he took the family to Scotland and Hawaii, he spent a lot of his time playing golf with me. As a ten-year-old in Hawaii, I would astound strangers with my long, straight drives. I loved to hear them say, “Wow! Mozart on the links!”<br />
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Laying aside all this materialism and pride, I can’t tell you how much I enjoyed being on a beautiful golf course with my father. There he would tell me the secrets of his heart, as if he were talking to himself. I learned his thoughts about God, his family, and the world. I knew—probably even before my mother—when Daddy’s business was good and when it was bad.<br />
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<span style="color: red;">Critique: </span></div>
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<span style="color: red;">I feel that there is quite a bit of telling in the first page here. For instance, the reader doesn't really learn much about the other sisters (also, the narrator isn't yet named), or her mother (we only really learn that she was able to handle the death of her son better than her husband); also, many readers might not be familiar with <i>Byron Nelson/Ben Hogan golf swing, </i>so you perhaps you could explain its significance (does her dad think it's the best golf swing? where did he learn it?). We are given a lot of information within a few paragraphs, but it's only snippets. For example, the narrator mentions a trip to Hawaii in only a sentence. I do like the father's love of golf was able to help him somewhat recover from his loss, and that the narrator enjoyed spending time playing golf with her father, but you might consider working on showing the reader how this was a bonding experience for them. </span></div>
Jordyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16573154547132863157noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3523915101737448746.post-21845812123724434662014-10-21T21:57:00.001-04:002015-02-26T15:46:29.071-05:00Weekly First Page Critique<div dir="ltr">
I will be hosting a weekly first page critique. If you would be interested in having your first page critiqued here on my blog, please email your genre and first page to me at jordy[at] thebookeralbertagency[dot]com. Please put First Page Critique in the subject line. I'm hoping you guys will find this helpful! </div>
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Jordyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16573154547132863157noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3523915101737448746.post-25718921076802867342014-10-21T12:59:00.001-04:002021-01-13T14:59:23.621-05:00Current Wishlist <span style="font-family: arial;"><b>Below is my current wish list for what I'd love to see in my inbox (especially romance!) You can also check my bio on our website <a href="http://www.thebookeralbertagency.com/about-us.html" target="_blank">here</a>. You can also check out the #MSWL on Twitter</b><br />
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<b>Young Adult</b><br />
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I'm looking for YA in all sub-genres! Especially contemporary and thrillers, sci-fi/fantasy and anything with a strong romance or friendship. Also, I'm looking for YA that has a more mature voice...and I love characters with sarcasm, wit, some snark, but still be likable. And of course, looking for fresh stories, or stories with familiar elements (or tropes) but are unique.<br />
<br /><b>Adult</b><br />
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Romance!!! Smart, sassy, fun, sexy romances!!! Contemporary, Historical (especially Regency), romantic suspense/thrillers (with strong romance)...<br />
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Some of my favorite Authors:<br />
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Karen Marie Moning<br />
Kresley Cole<br />
Gena Showalter<br />
Teresa Medeiros<br />
Sabrina Jeffries<br />
Lisa Kleypas<br />
Eloisa James<br />
Lauren Layne</span>Jordyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16573154547132863157noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3523915101737448746.post-77330301407618120442014-10-21T12:04:00.002-04:002014-10-22T18:01:02.741-04:00Submission Guidelines<u>Submission Guidelines</u><br />
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You can also find our guidelines <a href="http://www.thebookeralbertagency.com/submissions.html" target="_blank">here</a>. <b>I am only accepting electronic queries at this time. </b><br />
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*Please send a Query and the first 10 pages of your <i>completed manuscript</i> to query[at]thebookeralbertagency[dot]com. <i><b>I do NOT respond to queries sent to my personal email.</b></i> In the subject line of your query, please include QUERY: JORDY and TITLE<br />
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*Please make sure your pages are pasted into the email-I do <b>NOT </b>open attachments unless I've requested materials.<br />
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*Please include your name and contact information.<br />
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*You should receive an auto-response message confirming we have received your submission. If you do not receive an auto-response, please check your spam (just in case). Feel free to drop us a line either through the contact form on our website, or email letting us know, so we can check to see if there is an issue with our email.<br />
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*If you have not received a response from me in four to six weeks, I have decided to pass on your project. <br />
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*If I'm considering your work (partial/full), please do keep me posted on any offers you might receive (from agents or editors)<br />
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*If you haven't heard from me, please feel to follow up after six to eight weeks.<br />
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<br />Jordyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16573154547132863157noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3523915101737448746.post-4983508852323069242014-05-14T17:04:00.001-04:002014-05-14T17:08:52.697-04:00Help promote the Booker Albert Agency! Please join us tomorrow and Friday (May 15-16) for a Twitter (and facebook) party to support the Booker Albert Agency! Please follow #BookerAlbertBlast and spread the word. Share the # and tweet away! We'll be offering a five page critique to 6 random followers. Stay tuned!Jordyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16573154547132863157noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3523915101737448746.post-57496243691220116012013-10-25T18:54:00.000-04:002013-10-25T19:04:55.317-04:00Query Critique #4<br />
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Hey everyone!<br />
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Happy Friday! Here is this weeks query critique :) Thanks again to the authors for the use of their queries.<br />
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<b>QUERY</b>:<br />
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Twelve year-old Jude begins to travel between parallel worlds. At<br />
first, the only downside is dealing with predicaments caused by the<br />
parallel-reality versions of herself who take her place while she’s<br />
gone <span style="color: red;">(The first sentence doesn't really catch my attention. I think a sentence about how she discovers how she can hop between worlds would be more effective in grabbing an agents attention. Also, I'm just a little confused from the first couple of sentences. At first, it seems like Jude may be the only one that can travel between parallel worlds, but then there is mention of the Rule Breaker and Switching Rule, so it seems like others are able to as well.)</span>.<br />
Then Jude is given a note, the worlds are in trouble, and learns<br />
a Rule Breaker—<span style="color: red;">[</span>someone with a pendant breaking a Switching Rule<span style="color: red;">]</span> <span style="color: red;">(this might be a little too much information to add in a query because it implies travel between parallel worlds is common (for instance, this makes it seem like the reader is familiar with what a Switching Rule is), but Jude is just learning about it. I think it would help if there was a sentence to help transition, a sentence that would let us know others have this ability. Is it an ability for everyone as whole?)</span>—is causing catastrophic events in the alternate worlds.<br />
<br />
In one world, her entire family is dead except for her little sister.<br />
Jude tries to save her, but is too late—and vows to go after the Rule<br />
Breaker even if it means he will try to destroy her world <span style="color: red;">(why does he want to destroy her world?)</span>.<br />
When a cute boy she keeps meeting in the other worlds shows her a virtual game,<br />
Jude figures out how the Rule Breaker is causing the catastrophes.<br />
<br />
After piecing together more clues, Jude is stunned to realize a<br />
version of the cute boy is the Rule Breaker. Now Jude—with the help of<br />
her best friend Windy—must figure out which parallel world the Rule<br />
Breaker is hiding in and find a way to stop him. Before all the worlds<br />
are destroyed.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: red;">I think this is an interesting premise. Overall, I think the query works fairly well. Just keep in mind you are introducing the reader--in this case, the agent--to the character(s)/world you've created, so it's important to make things as clear as possible. </span><br />
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~J<br />
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<br />Jordyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16573154547132863157noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3523915101737448746.post-17284544074765991472013-10-18T15:18:00.000-04:002013-10-20T10:30:04.200-04:00Query Critique #3<div>
Hope Everyone is having a fabulous week! Time for another query critique. As always, thanks so much to the authors!</div>
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<b>QUERY:</b></div>
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Anna is stuck in a rut. To be fair, though, it’s a very comfortable rut<br />
that her dad approves of, and that she dug for herself. But still, it’s<br />
time for a change.<br />
<br />
Change comes in the form of Coy McLeod <span style="color: red;">Nice :)</span>, visiting Anna’s small hometown from the far away land of Chicago. He’s as spontaneous, passionate, and independent as Anna is… not.<br />
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<span style="color: red;">I don't feel I get a good sense of the plot/story from the above paragraphs, and they don't really grab my attention. I think it's good that you briefly mention how Anna and Coy are so different. However, I wasn't sure if that-their differences-was the main conflict/tension or not. You might try to make that a little clearer. Also, I think it might be more effective if you try to incorporate that into the following paragraph--How important is it to the plot? </span></div>
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When Coy gets the idea to take a Shakespeare Festival road trip, Anna<br />
agrees to go along, hoping the spontaneity of the trip will help her to be<br />
more open to new things. <span style="color: red;">This gives me a better idea about the story, and I think this would be a better place to start, but keep in mind you also want to set up the tension/conflict. </span>But when she returns home, she is just as uncertain of what to do with her future as when she left. <span style="color: red;">I don't understand why she is so uncertain. This sort of goes along with my previous comment. What is it that is going to make me want to keep reading? </span>Coy has added a new choice to Anna’s list of possible future plans- he wants her to move to</div>
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Chicago with him. As if things weren’t confusing enough already. <span style="color: red;">I think this line works well. It sort of lets us know the stakes. </span><br />
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Should she finish college at her family’s alma mater, while staying at home<br />
with her widower father? Or take a chance on Coy, and step into the<br />
unknown? As time runs out on Anna’s last semester of school, it will take a<br />
proposal, a death, and The Sound of Music to bring the curtain down on her<br />
old life.</div>
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<span style="color: red;">Not a bad start. I would just try to tighten it up a little bit. </span><br />
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LOVE AND THE BARD is a New Adult contemporary romance, complete at 90,000<br />
words. It would appeal to readers who enjoy contemporary Young Adult<br />
novels, such as those by Sarah Dessen, and are now looking for an older<br />
protagonist. The first ten pages are included after my contact information.<br />
You are also welcome to use my work for a first-page critique on your blog<br />
should you wish. Thank you very much for your consideration!</div>
Jordyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16573154547132863157noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3523915101737448746.post-625388884175172822013-10-16T07:52:00.000-04:002013-10-16T08:02:02.865-04:00Butterman (Time) Travel, Inc. COVER REVEALToday I am participating in a cover reveal with my fabulous client PK Hrezo!!! Her book Butterman (Time) Travel, Inc. will be released 11/12/2013. And now for the stunning cover...<br />
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<img height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTybt6xKmnWy0Pyo1rqTbBaU63IldX80voL5weNFakvDjT-1JZO6jdYeiO3HPyrD4pDUIbBLQIsPj66DwdzOAM30CPYqvlxoLb01BgmNOQZwZzJF-c2yjRbN6i2yVNfpyXO2Fr2aw8ycp0/s640/Butterman600x900.jpg" width="424" /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial Black","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Arial Black","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">Welcome to Butterman
Travel, Incorporated</span><span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">We are a full
service agency designed to meet all your exclusive time travel needs. Family-owned
and operated, we offer clients one hundred years of time travel experience. A
place where you can rest assured, safety and reliability always come first. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">Anxious to attend a
special event from the past? Or for a glimpse of what the future holds? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">You’ve come to the
right place. We’re a fully accredited operation, offering an array of services;
including, but not limited to: customized travel plans, professionally piloted
operations, and personal trip guides. *</span><span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 8.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">Terms and conditions do apply<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">Conference us
directly from our Website. Our frontline reservation specialist, Bianca
Butterman, will handle all your inquiries in a professional and efficient
manner, offering a tentative itinerary and free fare quote, so you can make the
most of your time trip.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Century Gothic', sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">We look forward to
serving you at Butterman Travel, Inc., where time is always in your hands. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Century Gothic', sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: 'Century Gothic', sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span>
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PK would like to know: If you could walk into a time travel agency and book a time trip, where and when would it be, and why? For me...this is a tough question because I am interested in history, but I want to see what the future holds. If I had to choose, I would probably go visit the Renaissance because of all the ideas and art and architecture that came out of that period. I'd love to run into Leonardo Da Vinci. How about you? When and where would you go?<br />
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So exciting and congrats PK Hrezo! Check out her <a href="http://pk-hrezo.blogspot.com/">blog</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/PKHrezo">twitter</a>, <a href="https://www.facebook.com/authorpkhrezo">facebook</a>, and <a href="http://down-the-rabbithole.com/">website</a>.<br />
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Jordyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16573154547132863157noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3523915101737448746.post-71654537091409387472013-10-11T07:16:00.002-04:002013-10-11T07:20:29.506-04:00Query Critique #2<div style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><span style="color: black;">Good morning, everyone! </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><span style="color: black;">Happy Friday! Time for another query critique. I really hope you guys are finding these critiques helpful. Thanks so much to the authors :) Have a wonderful weekend!</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><span style="color: black;"><b>QUERY:</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><span style="color: black; font-style: italic;">In this era of bastard slaves, blood is the only currency.</span><i> </i><span style="color: red;">I would try to tie this line in a little better with your last sentence. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">It is 1667, and a British colony in the New World has shot two birds dead. <span style="color: red;">I would maybe start with introducing Tommy and Sanctum--and what he's doing there. This line doesn't really hook the reader, and you need to hook the reader from the get-go.</span> Illegitimates <span style="color: red;">(Are they orphans? I don't feel I have a good idea who the Illegitimates are. Are there any girls?)</span> that clog up the streets are dragged into abandoned blade mills and tobacco plantations. Some call this colony Sanctum. To most, the name is a sick joke not to be repeated. <span style="color: red;">This tells us a bit about Sanctum, but I don't quite see how it follows into the sentence about Tommy digging graves (This sort of goes with my comment above about hooking the reader). </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">14-year-old Tommy spends his days digging graves and chasing down body snatchers.<strike> "One of the lucky ones," should be branded across Tommy's back, for people whip him with it daily. Bastard boys are not to read pamphlets of lands far, far away. Asking where Mother and Father have gone will not bring them home.</strike> <span style="color: red;">I would probably omit this line, or rework. It seems like the pamphlets are important (because in the next paragraph we learn they find clues leading away from Sanctum), but I'm not clear on how it fits. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">When somebody starts tarring tombstones with riddles from <i>Oedipus Rex</i>, leading Tommy to graves filled with gold, all hope catches fire. <span style="color: red;">I think this line works well!</span> Tommy's puzzlemaker turns out to be a five-foot nothing Sorceress who wields lightning like a hot knife. <span style="color: red;">I really like this line! but I think it could be clarified just a little. The person who is leaving the riddles is the witch, right? (I was just wondering if the witches are common, and how are they received?) Also, we learn later that the girl's family is missing, but I wasn't sure if that was her motive for leaving the riddles(?) </span>And this New Witch is not after Tommy for his dimples. Pursued by slavers, witch hunters, and a preacher that drinks magic like it's Dutch wine, the duo piece together a set of clues that lead away from Sanctum. Deep into a dangerous paradise of forgotten cities and deadly traps.<img alt="https://mail.google.com/mail/images/cleardot.gif" height="1" width="1" /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Now every step takes a preacher they can't kill nearer to the witches he most wants to meet. Finding this girl's family means realizing Tommy's worst fear: that a man's worth is measured in blood.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Thanks so much for reading!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">~J </span></div>
Jordyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16573154547132863157noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3523915101737448746.post-50424028540998883082013-10-08T19:54:00.001-04:002013-10-09T18:53:33.036-04:00Halloween YA Pitch PartyTo celebrate Halloween, I'm having a pitch party! I would LOVE to see more YA Romance in my inbox. And you're invited to a Pitch Party specifically for <b>YA Romance</b>. Beginning October 13th until the 31st 2013, it's all about the romance! Please see details below.<br />
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Genre does <b>not </b>matter, but the romance MUST be killer. The chemistry has to feel authentic and be sizzling! The riskier/steamier the better. </div>
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I want to be sucked into the world you've created and not want to leave. I want to feel like I could talk to your characters, like they could step off the page. I need to understand their motivations and choices. Make me laugh and then cry. The voice has to feel realistic! The plot needs to be original and flow seamlessly with the romance. </div>
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Are the lines between good and bad blurred, the bad guys someone you hope will change? </div>
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Is there a game or competition? Life and death stakes? </div>
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Break my heart, but I'd also love to have a happy/satisfying ending. </div>
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<i>*Please send your pitch (with Halloween Pitch and title in the subject) and the first 5 pages of your finished manuscript pasted into the body of an email (NO attachments, please) to me at jordy@thebookeralbertagency.com.</i></div>
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#HalloweenPitch<br />
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Very much looking forward to reading your submissions!</div>
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~J</div>
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Jordyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16573154547132863157noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3523915101737448746.post-88826240444460682182013-10-05T13:46:00.001-04:002013-10-05T16:24:31.433-04:00"Finding the right balance between "vague" and "too much information" in a query. <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I was recently asked via Twitter to write a blog post about<span style="line-height: 18px; white-space: pre-wrap;"> "finding the right balance between "vague" and "too much information" in a query. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px; white-space: pre-wrap;">A query is sort of like a movie trailer. It's supposed to grab your attention and make you want to see the movie. Similarly, your query is like a "trailer" for your book (kinda like a blurb on the back of a book). Agents look at so many queries in a day. You want yours to stick out and say <b>"Hey! Read me!" </b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px; white-space: pre-wrap;">If there is too much information in your query or if it's too vague, it's rather likely that an agent won't pay much attention, quickly moving on to the next, because s/he doesn't have a good idea what your book is about. What makes it special and unique from the other queries agents look at every day?</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px; white-space: pre-wrap;">If there is too much information (such as, including too many characters, too much description/setting, too many plot details, etc.), your query could become unnecessarily bogged down and confusing. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px; white-space: pre-wrap;">If your query is too vague (for instance, if it talks more about a character, or the setting), then we really don't know much about the plot--the glue that holds it all together. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; white-space: pre-wrap;">I do have a couple ideas I'll list below that I think might be helpful. Let know :) </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px; white-space: pre-wrap;">1. About twice a year there is a Twitter pitch party called #PitMad (usually following #PitchMadness). This a great way to practice pitching. You have 140 characters to grab an agent or publishers attention. Very challenging, but A LOT of fun! Some authors will often offer to critique the pitches before you tweet. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px; white-space: pre-wrap;">2. Try to summarize your book in a few sentences/paragraphs. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px; white-space: pre-wrap;">3. Ask author friends for a critique, or look for agents who will post critiques on their blogs. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Hope you guys find this helpful! </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px; white-space: pre-wrap;">~J</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span>Jordyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16573154547132863157noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3523915101737448746.post-85017380332737724212013-10-04T10:54:00.000-04:002014-10-13T10:05:53.816-04:00Submission Wishlist<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">MG: Fun action/adventure type stories (think The Goonies and The Never Ending Story). </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">YA: I'm pretty much open to all genres/sub-genres, but I am especially looking for stories that have a <i>strong </i>romantic element (the riskier/steamier the better).</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">New Adult: I'm looking mostly for fun reads, with witty characters and dialogue, contemporary romances</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Adult: Romance! I love historical romance. Authors such as Sabrina Jeffries and Teresa Medeiros. Paranormal romance. I am a <i>sucker </i>for a sexy paranormal read. I<b><i> absolutely adore</i></b> Kresley Cole and Karen Marie Moning. I also LOVE Gena Showalter, <span style="line-height: 21px;">Jeaniene Frost, JR Ward,</span> and <span style="line-height: 21px;">Sherrilyn Kenyon.</span> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Also, looking for dark/gritty fantasy/sci-fi with strong world building, and, of course, romantic element. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I will definitely update wishlist from time to time, so please stop back! </span>Jordyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16573154547132863157noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3523915101737448746.post-26935601951797455572013-10-04T07:48:00.000-04:002013-10-04T08:01:20.499-04:00Query Critique #1Good morning, everyone!<br />
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Today I'm posting the first in a series of query critiques. I plan on posting one every Friday, so please check back. Thanks so much to the authors for the use of their queries! Okay, on to the critique...<br />
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In the realm of Wyverndawn, a wizard’s height is the mark of his power, and shrinking one inch is disastrous for twelve-year-old Gerald. <span style="color: red;">This is a really good first line. </span>Looking to gain an inch or two, Gerald decides a little landscaping is just what his village needs. <span style="color: red;">I wasn't sure what this sentence has to do with the spell (in the following sentence). The spell has something to do with landscaping?</span> But the spell he bought - from a guy who knows a guy - is a tad more powerful than even he anticipates. <span style="color: red;">Nice. </span>The resulting earthquake breaks off a chunk of Wyverndawn from the rest of the realm allowing Vabalaz, a highly dangerous wizard, to escape from prison. </div>
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A red-faced Gerald is banished from his village and, to complete his shame, shrinks another inch; two more and he’ll join his father as a Royal Equine Poop Disposal Coordinator. <span style="color: red;">Is shrinking the punishment for all wrongdoing and for everyone? I also don't think you need to mention that he'll be working with his father.</span> Gerald’s love of shiny wizarding objects leads him straight to a golden amulet that could be the answer to his problems. <span style="color: red;">How did he learn about the amulet? </span>But when Vabalaz discovers it may also be the key to creating his dream wizard realm, the hunt is on. <span style="color: red;">How would this affect Gerald and his people? It seems like that would be a bad thing. </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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Gerald’s hopes of returning home hinge on repairing the damage to Wyverndawn and thwarting Vabalaz’s plans. <strike> But he could really do without fighting off bumbling bandits, dealing with a very smelly Orcling and evading a female elven assassin</strike>. <span style="color: red;">I don't think you really need this sentence. The rest of the query sets up the conflict, and stakes fairly well.</span> Failure could mean Gerald’s next spell might very well be his last. <span style="color: red;">The last line works well, too. Overall, I think this a pretty solid query. </span><br />
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Jordyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16573154547132863157noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3523915101737448746.post-27695909103576918972013-09-29T14:53:00.001-04:002013-09-29T15:23:38.177-04:00Weekly blog post featuring query/first page critiqueI posted on Twitter today that I will be starting a weekly blog post that features a critique of a query or first page. I will post the critique on Friday each week. If you would like be featured (I won't post any personal details), just let me know when you query (OR just email if you're interested--please specify if you'd like a query or first page critique)! I look forward to hearing from you.<br />
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*Oh I did want to mention that we did update our submission guidelines, and we no longer require a synopsis. Please visit out <a href="http://thebookeralbertagency.com/">website </a>for more details.<br />
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~JordyJordyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16573154547132863157noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3523915101737448746.post-22236322002826018552013-06-28T16:08:00.001-04:002013-06-28T16:20:24.851-04:00Why I might not connect with a characterIt is so important for a reader to form an attachment to the characters right away. You may have a great plot, but it is the characters that are going to carry the story, it is through the characters' eyes that the reader will view the world you're creating. If I don't care about character, or what happens to a character during the course of the novel, then I am less inclined to continue reading. I'd like to share a few thoughts about connecting with a character.<br />
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1. I will often find that a character feels "stagnant." That is a character(s) will stay the same throughout the story. The MC needs to have goals and motivations, and those goals/motivation need to realistically reflect the personality/voice of a character. Why are they doing what they are doing?<br />
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2. The voice for <i>each </i>character should be different!!!!!! For example, a grandmother shouldn't sound like a teenager (that might be an extreme example, but you get the idea). Also, if the voice is too similar for each character, they become almost indistinguishable. The voice should reflect: age, gender, education, and social/economic background...pretty much the voice should <i>show </i>us almost everything about a character.
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These are 2 of the biggest things I've noticed, and I hope you'll find this post helpful!<br />
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~JordyJordyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16573154547132863157noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3523915101737448746.post-91332052499812098352013-06-04T16:16:00.000-04:002013-06-04T16:19:08.957-04:00Plot DeviceSome of the best known plot devices are easily recognizable. For example, The One Ring in J. R. R. Tolkien's<i> Lord of the Rings, </i>or Zeus' Lightning bolt in <i>Percy Jackson & the Olympians.</i> According to <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plot_device">Wikipedia</a>, a plot device<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.1875px;"> </span><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 19.1875px;">is an object or character in a story whose only purpose is to advance the </span>plot<span style="line-height: 19.1875px;"> of the story, or alternatively to overcome some difficulty in the plot.</span></span><span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 13.328125px;"> </span>To me, a great plot device plants a seed that works within the rest of the plot; it gives the character(s) motivation, and helps move the story forward. And I think they make a story more interesting. Can you think of some other well-known plot devices?</span><br />
<br />Below is a really fun video by <a href="http://sethworley.com/">Seth Worley</a>.<br />
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/kFdKi33DHls" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>Jordyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16573154547132863157noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3523915101737448746.post-56604146422859815592013-05-13T11:31:00.003-04:002013-05-13T11:33:31.440-04:00No response or form letter? Hi everyone!<br />
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Hope everyone had a great weekend! I'm sorry if this post is repetitive. Recently, a number of authors have re-queried or asked for a status on their submission. I've mentioned before that time, unfortunately, doesn't allow us to send a detailed response as to why we passed on a project. Also, in our submission guidelines we state that we are only able to respond to the projects that we are interested in. That being said, I would love to hear what you all would prefer. Would you rather receive a from (rejection) response, or would you rather have no response? Thanks!</div>
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~Jordy </div>
Jordyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16573154547132863157noreply@blogger.com25tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3523915101737448746.post-45424521524681452992013-04-15T11:53:00.002-04:002013-04-15T11:53:28.233-04:00Queries, partials and fulls...oh my!I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend! I know waiting for a response regarding a query or partial/full request is killer. I just wanted to share a few things to keep in mind while you're waiting.<br />
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*If I requested a partial/full and you haven't heard back from me in 6-8 weeks, please feel free to follow up. It's quite easy to get backed up with requests, so chances are I just haven't had the opportunity to finish reading your submission. Also, please keep in mind that along with queries and requests, we also have our clients work to consider, which must take priority, so that may delay a response as well. <b><i><u>I will definitely respond if I have requested material. </u></i></b><br />
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*While I am very happy for the authors who receive an offer/offer(s) for representation and wish them all the best, recently, there have been a few times where an author will notify me after the fact, after they have already accepted another offer. <b><i><u>If you have a partial/full with me, please keep me posted on any offers you receive...even if you would like to withdraw your manuscript from consideration (if you have an offer or an offer of publication).</u></i></b> You can imagine how disappointing it would be to finish a manuscript, offer representation, only to find out that the author already signed with another agent, or signed a contract with a publisher.<br />
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*While I would love to respond to every single query I receive, unfortunately, time just doesn't allow. Also, please be sure to check our <a href="http://www.thebookeralbertagency.com/submissions.html">submission guidelines</a>. We are unable to open attachments (unless requested), and please don't just send us links.<br />
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Thanks so much for reading! Have a wonderful week.<br />
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~JordyJordyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16573154547132863157noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3523915101737448746.post-61129519534322274932013-04-06T15:01:00.002-04:002013-04-06T15:05:03.855-04:00Cliche openings and other things that I've seen a lot of recently It is very common to run across a number of submissions that have similar openings. I wanted to share what I see a lot of, and what will probably dissuade me from reading further.<br />
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1. We first see the character when they are waking up and going through a routine.<br />
2. A dream. This sort of goes along with number 1.<br />
3. Flashback.<br />
4. A very descriptive/wordy opening that is all telling. The imagery may be well written, but it's always important to consider how everything you include works to move the story forward, or helps with character development. Is there another way to establish the setting?<br />
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Another thing I find quite often is a prologue. While prologues can be great, it's always a good idea to ask yourself if it is <i><u>absolutely </u></i>necessary.<br />
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Pet peeve: I've recently read a number of YA submissions where the characters attend a party, which I totally understand, but I didn't really see the significance, why the scene was important, or how it helped move the plot forward/tied into the rest of the story.<br />
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- <i><b>Everything</b></i> should tie together. I've come across scenes that really don't serve a purpose. I would always recommend considering why something is important, and how does whatever it is affect later events? Always think of cause and effect...even with character motivation!<br />
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When you read so many queries that have similar themes, they tend to all start to sound similar...with a similar voice, similar characters, settings etc. If the pages don't stand out, we won't want to read any further.<br />
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I would love to hear your thoughts. Thanks so much for reading!<br />
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~JordyJordyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16573154547132863157noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3523915101737448746.post-35926131240193367232013-03-05T07:49:00.001-05:002013-03-05T08:02:25.379-05:00From Twitter: speculative fiction vs. sci-fi; what's the difference? Does speculative as a genre sell?<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">Recently, I tweeted that I was looking for blog post ideas. Please continue to send ideas! </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">I received a tweet asking what the difference was between speculative fiction and sci-fi. From what I understand, sci-fi would fall under speculative fiction, along with other genres, such as fantasy, horror and dystopian--to name a few. Also, genre crossover is rather common, and a novel could fit into more than one category, especially sci-fi. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">Here are a couple of links with more information regarding <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Science_fiction">sci-fi</a> and <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Speculative_fiction#Distinguishing_speculative_fiction_from_science_fiction">speculative fiction</a>.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">Speculative fiction actually seems to be doing very well, which is fantastic! I love sci-fi and other speculative fiction because it's an escape from the ordinary; we get to read about cool things like visiting other planets, meeting aliens (hopefully mostly friendly), or traveling in time and space. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><a href="https://twitter.com/LisaArnseth">@LisaArnseth</a> thanks so much for your question, and I hope that helps! </span></div>
Jordyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16573154547132863157noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3523915101737448746.post-64972972871114766232013-02-08T17:15:00.000-05:002013-04-06T13:37:05.584-04:00Updates and Call for Submissions<div style="text-align: justify;">
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I hope 2013 is going well for everyone so far! I just wanted to do a quick blog post. I am running a bit behind on submissions and queries (I do have some that I've put aside to look at again, and I just haven't had the chance to go back through them). I recently requested quite a few full manuscripts from pitch contests, and a number of queries from another (#PitMad) that I didn't have the opportunity to look at fully yet. Also, while I try to review submissions in order, it's not always possible, especially if an author has an offer or offers. If you have a partial/full with me, I will definitely respond. Unfortunately, as much as Brittany and I would love to respond personally to each query, time just doesn't allow...see, this is why we need a TARDIS!</div>
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I'm also doing a Call for Submissions: </div>
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<b>What I would like to see:</b></div>
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*Romance (contemporary/historical) </div>
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*YA (Adult/New Adult) -contemporary or historical, sci-fi/fantasy, action/adventure (think Goonies, Princess Bride, NeverEnding Story, Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure). I would love to see YA that are heavy on romance. </div>
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*I'm <i>not </i>really looking for non-fiction, suspense/thrillers, middle grade/picture books at this time. Also, please note we are not currently representing screenplays. </div>
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Have a great weekend!!</div>
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~Jordy</div>
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Jordyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16573154547132863157noreply@blogger.com7